Hypocrite

"I just have to convince myself wholeheartedly that this is the correct path rather than getting scared and running back to a job that will provide me with security but no satisfaction."

Guess what I went and did...

I should really read through this blog and take my own advice because I am sure that if I did I would not have gotten scared and run straight back to my bookstore job. I'm actually quite ashamed at myself for having done it. 

But I got scared, I got really scared and I felt bad for not working and feeling so aimless. I should have stuck it out at least one more week. 

But, as ever you have to look at the positives. I have a bit of money coming in now instead of eating into my savings PLUS I will still have time to look for another job. I am NOT going to get complacent. I won't allow it! 

Hopefully something will come up soon...hopefully. 

One Note

Is it me or am I in danger of allowing these blog posts to become a bit one note? I decided to start this blog as a platform to vent my frustrations at job-hunting and highlight the contradictions between the value of a University education, the current economic climate and popular expectations. As an unexpected result of this (or maybe not) many of my blog posts have become a bit downcast.

I just want to assure you that however frustrating the situation I am quite happy in this bubble. I'm sure someone could point out that maybe I quite like being without a job. But that someone might want to think twice, or at least say it behind my back so I can't hear them.

Anyway, will try my best to be a bit more up-beat: Rule 6!

Ruvini

Back to Zero

Hello!

It's funny how easy it is to get back into that same state of mind that you were trying to get away from. However,  I think this might possibly just be my own cynical mentality. Going away did a great deal of good for me, I managed to figure out what it was that I wanted (to an extent) and come back with the tenacity to accomplish it.

...This lasted about a week as 'what I wanted' required me finding a job. And not just any job! A well-paying job that I could maybe, even, possibly...enjoy. 

That's not to say I didn't enjoy my time working at the bookstore, I even went in the day I came back to see what the situation was and whether I could work there again. But as a wizened friend and colleague said "even though I'm working somewhere that allows me to use my own knowledge and love for literature, for every one person who appreciates my help there's going to be at least two who consider me to be just someone at a checkout.  And I don't want that, not anymore." 

Inevitably, however, I find myself regretting turning down an offer to go back to work despite knowing that I have made the right decision. I just have to convince myself wholeheartedly that this is the correct path rather than getting scared and running back to a job that will provide me with security but no satisfaction.

It's funny how a year can go by and despite having done so much you are still in the exact same spot as before.

I'll figure it out eventually and I'm sure you'll be the first to know.