The Best Medicine.

Hypocrite

"I just have to convince myself wholeheartedly that this is the correct path rather than getting scared and running back to a job that will provide me with security but no satisfaction."

Guess what I went and did...

I should really read through this blog and take my own advice because I am sure that if I did I would not have gotten scared and run straight back to my bookstore job. I'm actually quite ashamed at myself for having done it. 

But I got scared, I got really scared and I felt bad for not working and feeling so aimless. I should have stuck it out at least one more week. 

But, as ever you have to look at the positives. I have a bit of money coming in now instead of eating into my savings PLUS I will still have time to look for another job. I am NOT going to get complacent. I won't allow it! 

Hopefully something will come up soon...hopefully. 

One Note

Is it me or am I in danger of allowing these blog posts to become a bit one note? I decided to start this blog as a platform to vent my frustrations at job-hunting and highlight the contradictions between the value of a University education, the current economic climate and popular expectations. As an unexpected result of this (or maybe not) many of my blog posts have become a bit downcast.

I just want to assure you that however frustrating the situation I am quite happy in this bubble. I'm sure someone could point out that maybe I quite like being without a job. But that someone might want to think twice, or at least say it behind my back so I can't hear them.

Anyway, will try my best to be a bit more up-beat: Rule 6!

Ruvini

Back to Zero

Hello!

It's funny how easy it is to get back into that same state of mind that you were trying to get away from. However,  I think this might possibly just be my own cynical mentality. Going away did a great deal of good for me, I managed to figure out what it was that I wanted (to an extent) and come back with the tenacity to accomplish it.

...This lasted about a week as 'what I wanted' required me finding a job. And not just any job! A well-paying job that I could maybe, even, possibly...enjoy. 

That's not to say I didn't enjoy my time working at the bookstore, I even went in the day I came back to see what the situation was and whether I could work there again. But as a wizened friend and colleague said "even though I'm working somewhere that allows me to use my own knowledge and love for literature, for every one person who appreciates my help there's going to be at least two who consider me to be just someone at a checkout.  And I don't want that, not anymore." 

Inevitably, however, I find myself regretting turning down an offer to go back to work despite knowing that I have made the right decision. I just have to convince myself wholeheartedly that this is the correct path rather than getting scared and running back to a job that will provide me with security but no satisfaction.

It's funny how a year can go by and despite having done so much you are still in the exact same spot as before.

I'll figure it out eventually and I'm sure you'll be the first to know. 

Working for free and other endeavours

So I am off on my travels tomorrow and I am hoping that goes well. But before I go I just wanted to update you on a spot of work experience that I managed to get whilst I was in my rock and a hard place.

I really think that I lucked out with the experience that I ended up getting and though I am positive I will come across as a pleb, I'll say it anyway- I think it's going to look really great on my CV.

I initially applied to be a volunteer at a film festival but after going to one of the meetings and being proactive by introducing myself to the people who were 'in-charge' and emphasising my boundless availability a few days later I found myself at the end of a phone call summoning me into the office and being handed extra responsibilities.

I was thrilled! Once again- this would look great on my CV as well as ending the insomnia that had gripped me in my joblessness.


As the days went by I found myself working longer and longer hours and  because I was a volunteer I was paying for travel myself.

It was then that the concept of volunteering and unpaid internships dawned on me. How many people in reality have the capacity to be able to work for free and give up that kind of time without earning money? Particularly with rising student debts. The irony is that the people who can give up the most free time find themselves being remembered by the 'important people' and are therefore more likely to be recommended for paid positions. It's an unfair system and one where many are taken advantage of.

The key, I think, is to make yourself memorable:
Always ask whether anything needs doing
Always ask if anyone wants tea or coffee
Always Never be idle

I have to say though that the pressure did get to me resulting, very shamefully, in a moment of tears. I completely regret this spell of weakness, I mean, I don't want to be THAT person who you work with! It was the idea of stressing over something when you weren't even getting paid. Hmmmm, maybe that means that I cared...!

Ultimately, in the long term this will look great on my CV. Also, more importantly I met some fantastic like-minded people. Some great contacts, as they say. The word 'networking' came alive in that very instance when I realised that was what I had been doing these past few weeks.

Conclusion: Thoroughly worth it...in retrospect.

Hopefully you'll be able to find some great work experience too. There are some brilliant websites for internships and other schemes. Anything to make your CV look great!




* * * *
I'm away for the next two months so it's unlikely that I'll be blogging; especially since one of my primary reasons for leaving is to get away from the headache that is job-hunting. But hopefully once I get back I will be raring to go in my quest for a career, sword in hand.

Ru

"Well...at least you'll have something to write for your blog"

Once again I have to apologise for the lack of communication. I have absolutely no excuses as my free-time has increased two-fold over the pass few months. This can be attributed to my semi-job loss.

I know. Urgh!

I say 'semi-job loss' because I feel like that's the only way to explain it.What happened was that the company I worked for essentially reduced my hours down to an abysmal amount. It put me in a really difficult position as I had already booked to go travelling so it didn't really give me enough time to find another well paying job without having to tell them that I would have to leave in a month. So at the moment i'm just working there smiling politely about this crappy situation.

I can highlight how bad the situation truly got for me in one sentence.

I tried to ask for my old job back. 

Remember... THAT job. I say try, there was me talking about back-ups and once again the 'recession' comes back to punch me in the face as they tell me that they have had to stop recruiting. It's almost like a tall rich person in a top hat smoking a cigar with a wad full of money beating me with it as I cower in the corner. (exaggerate much).

So now I am hoping to find some sort of work experience in between but we'll see how that pans out. I definitely need to find something to keep away the insomnia that drowns me every time I find myself with a huge amount of free-time. Finger's crossed!

Ruvini

Links

• I found this on the wonderful website www.lettersofnote.com I really understood the mindset of the guy that wrote this. Kudos to the chairman's reply! I barely get any response back from the letters and emails that I send out...maybe I should start writing letters like this?

• The result of goggling more nonsensical things results in the discovery of this article. It looks pretty useful, my favourite bit however is Rule 8, I really like it, though more in the way where you would say it to someone just to see the bemused look spread across their face rather than in an actual serious way. I do like the phrase "quarter-life crisis" though, at least now I have some definition to this limbo that I am stuck in!

• Also read David Nicholl's novel 'One Day'. Literary opinions aside it's quite an interesting commentary on life, time and how both pass by at an alarming rate or, as John O'Connell in The Times so eloquently puts it, "the tragic gap between youthful aspiration and the compromises that we end up tolerating." (totally found that on Wikipedia: the extent of my research skills. University had taught me much £10,000+ well spent*!)

*Is it strange that having just written that figure down it has only now seriously dawned on me how much I spent on higher education. I pity the poor sods who come after me. 

The Indian Elephant in the Room

My inability to get a job in a career that I want to be involved in has led to, lets say, a "re-imagining" of My Plan. Having assumed that 2011 would remain achievement free (a defeatist opinion, I know) I decided to plan a month long trip to India which would coincide with a trip the family was originally taking to Sri-Lanka in order to visit the extended family who live there.

This two month vacum would allow me to inevitably do what a lot of students end up doing after they finish their degrees. Go travelling. Though for me, it would be on a much smaller scale-I'm not made of money!

I've wanted to go India for a very long time and I'm really pleased that I'm finally getting to go...

...however, let's not mistake this trip for what it really is; a diversion.  

Yes, this trip requires planning and it will be an amazing experience blah, blah, blah but the reality is that it is such a FANTASTIC excuse to not apply myself and search for a job. 

The trip was also used as an excuse when I had the previously mentioned conversation with my mum about finding a job. 

Obviously, having written this out for 'all' to see I am well aware of how I use this trip to avoid job-hunting, so rather than this being a post about how gaining experiences is a great use of your time whilst job-hunting. What I am really trying to show is my ability to use this trip to fuel my laziness. It's quite shameful really.

I kind of feel like I'm the only one being like this. I don't expect that a lot of people read this blog but many people that I know have been very productive. It's great to see in people but hard to execute within yourself, at least for me. I need only make you aware of Rule 6.

Expectations

Hello there!

I hope you all enjoyed my poem. Evidence of my productivity when trying to produce something else completely different; otherwise known as procrastination. In my naivety I thought that possibly this was something that I would be able to transfer into my job-seeking, post-graduation...the productivity, not the procrastination.
 Unfortunately this has not turned out to be the case. When I graduated I was aware that finding the right job would take time. I'd seen my older sister and two cousins spend at least a year working, doing odd-jobs before they found something relevant to what they wanted to do.* In that sense at least my expectations, though not necessarily low, were realistic.

Rule 7: Realistic expectations are important.

Though I must point out that I have always been a glass-half-full empty kind of girl. Realistic expectations don't stop you from 'realising your dreams' but they do help in trying to stop the abject despair that can so often come hand-in-hand with trying to find a job (having said this it didn't stop me from falling straight into a pit of it whilst working in my previous job). Finding a career that you want to be successful in will take time, patience and hard-work. In today's society that can often seem quite frustrating, but when looking at people you admire remember that you will rarely see their struggles only their successes.

Try breaking down your goals. Things will be more achievable that way.




*please note the use of the word 'relevant' in the sentence. It took  a little bit longer before they were in jobs that they were really passionate about.

Procrastination

Time does not stand still for those
who waste their hours, though they know
The stress it causes, time and time again
It shall be a lesson never to amend.

YouTube, Facebook and Twitter
Have ALL taken me to the shitter.
They shall be the end of my degree
It's THEIR fault, you see?! Not me!

Alas! No self-restraint nor focus have I
But if this is the case then tell me why
I have written this poem, is that not suprising?
Not really. Because I should have been revising.

 R.H.W

Seven months

Seven months into my life as a graduate and the inevitable happens, the conversation you dread the most;

"So...when are you going to get a proper job?"

The pit of your stomach curdles when you hear those uneasy words, everything else in the room disappears except for you and the questioner; my Mother. Like a Stasi interrogation it's a battle; reveal enough information to survive but withhold the most crucial.  

To be fair to my mother; what she actually said was:

"So I thought you said that when you got this new job you'd have time to look for a proper one..."

So yes, it was ultimately my words which prompted this conversation and as conversations go it wasn't that awful. Although I did speak hurriedly and was quick to bring the conversation to an end. However, as I sit here writing this I can't actually remember what it was that I said. I think words like 'un-paid internship' or 'volunteer scheme' were involved and something along the lines of me needing to keep my part-time job in order to do these sorts of things was said.  

Somewhere deep inside I knew the time would come for this type of conversation and I didn't really answer the question just avoided it with style I'd say. When the equivalent happens to you I hope that you deal with it much better than I did. If you've been applying to jobs and researching then you'll be prepared in your answer, in my case...well...it was not the case.

I have to admit that recently a mixture of complacency and apathy has washed over me, finding myself in a retail job that I don't despise as much my previous one leads me to become almost content in my situation. Then I become aware that I don't even work full-time (which is why my reading levels have increased  in order to counter my lack of productivity and mental stimulation) thereby prompting previously discussed questions from The Parents. The apathy comes from perusing various job websites and gearing up to apply to these vacancies only to talk myself out of it. Telling myself that I won't get it and there isn't any point in applying. 

That's not really a way to behave. Nor is it a good mindset to have in this situation. Especially because I believe that you can learn much more from your failures than successes. So I'm gonna start trying again. Make an effort. 

Have you had similar problems, or am I the only one?

It's Been A While...

Hello there, you millions and squillions of people that read this magnificent blog. Yes. It has been a while, a very, very long while. Those months that I disappeared from the blogosphere were spent pondering and procrastinating. 'What from?' I here you ask, well my friends, I am still finding the answer to that question...


many things,of note have happened which, I have felt ashamed for not informing you about, though none of them have been particularly exciting.


Obviously I won't be divulging all the (non) exciting news in one dose. Like all the best drug- dealers I'll release my sage advice like they deal crack; a little at a time so you get hooked on my job-weary woes.*


Looking forward to the next few posts!


Ru




*I don't really know whether this is what they do. Though it might be a possible job option for myself.